The Nice guy who finished... LAST

If you asked me at 9pm Friday evening if I was having a typical start to my weekend, I would have sighed "yes". However by the time my evening events came to a close early Saturday morning my answer differed trendously from the previous. Let me explain...

My evening started with a "not so romatic dinner" with D. Don't get me wrong, it started off calm and ended with a big bang. Yes, we got into one of those deep fights. Me ranting about the need for more attention and him "half intently listening". After about an hour or two of passively fighting and getting nowhere I was saved by "I". That's when my night began...

D left from a sudden pang of exhaustion. BYE D....Hope you don't mind :)  All I could think in my head was....I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF AN UNTOUCHABLE NIGHT

LET'S GO DANCING. Now...I must explain....For a 24 year old, going dancing on a Friday night may be a normal occurance for most normal people. For me, this is an activity of the past. But, hey its good to revive the past every one in awhile right? RIGHT!

I'll skip all the stupid details and get right to the chase. Is chilvary dead? I'd like to hope not. I mean thats what I was just begging my boyfriend for. Wasn't it? Yeah well.... LA boy (Not my typical "type") tried to prove me wrong-by DEMONSTRATING chilvary wasn't dead, but let me tell you- I kinda got turned off. In the midst of dancing and having some innocent fun, he turns to me and says: "Can I kiss you-on the lips?" OK OK OK...WHAT? I mean who does that? I mean honestly, that just bypasses cute and goes right into the "loser" file for me. Maybe I am being a little harsh, but really: You just killed my whole "dancing groove".  After coming home and settling down for the evening-utterly exhausted, I think now...what if a guy just came up to me and planted one: I would label him an "asshole", but yet the guy who tried to prove chivalry isn't dead gets put to the bottom of the pile and labeled as "I" would put it- "the nice guy who never gets laid".

The Art of Words

Words simply defined as a sound or combination of sounds that symbolizes and communicates a meaning.

Words....

Words are POWERFUL. Words can hurt, words can help, words can destroy.

Firm believer in the saying actions are more powerful than words....But really why do I so often feel that words have become the most influencial part of a relationship-my relationship. A relationship so real, yet so "confused".
Do I misinterpret the words? Do I listen to closely? Or am I just a girl who believes in the symbolisim and beauty that words have to offer us? I don't have the real answer to my "battle with words". I do know that I am sensitive and take all the "combination of sounds" to heart (I wouldn't change this for the world and I love myself for who I am) I wish "my other half-at the moment" will one day understand that words are spoken, interpreted, and can't be taken back.

So.... Think before you speak, and speak your words with care, kindness and respect.

Maybe words do speak louder than actions....

Love,
The Wonderer of Words

Confused....

After five months of being broken up with the guy I thought I was going to married, I sit and wonder why I still put myself through the pain of talking to him every day. He claims he would like to get back together, but I think we both are using each other as a security blanket. I mean honestly where does the madness end? Not only do I feel used and abused but I feel as though it is my own fault for putting myself though this. I am playing a fierce game of tug a war with myself. How can I rip my own insides out? I am supposed to be in control of my life. I swore to myself I would never let a man do this to me. I need to take this matter into my own hands, but I dont want to be left with a life of "what ifs"
~ Confused~